Me Vs Alien Invaders

Imagine yourself lying on a bed.

Then imagine that you just completed a 10 mile hike with a 70lb pack and you are just exhausted and can't get up.

Now throw in a stomach virus where even the mere thought of edibles makes your stomach clench painfully and threaten to expel the nothingness that is in your belly.

Now throw in a hangover that just makes everything ache and the daylight feels like razorblades to your eyes.

And then for the fun of it, add some bone pain, so no matter how you try to lie down to just wish yourself oblivion, you can't get comfortable.

Now throw in the fact that you have something in your body trying its darndest to kill you.

Now try to be positive.

Welcome to my world!

Don't worry folks. I am very positive. I am young, healthy (well, besides the 9cm tumor), I have an amazing husband, and so much support!

But, the enormity of what I am facing really hits me sometimes. I keep reading about all these poor women who had a lumpectomy. A LUMPECTOMY!!??? A small little wad taken out of your breast? And they are upset because their breast now has a dimple?

One nurse last week asked me if I saw Christina Applegate on Letterman this week. I did. But I didn't care.

Well, that isn't true. I feel bad for Christina Applegate for her double mastectomy, but I feel bad in the way I feel sorry for someone for breaking their pinkie finger, or loosing their wallet and having to cancel their credit cards, or for missing their flight because they were at the airport bar and missed the final boarding call.

I don't see her vomiting her guts out, loosing her hair, knowing she might never have her own children. NOT BEING ABLE TO PLAN ANYTHING because you can't have a "long-term plan" until you know you have a "long term." Statistically, I have 70% chance of having of a medium-term plan and a 57% chance of a long-term plan. Ms. Applegate is running around looking gorgeous and going on with her life and has her own TV show and she didn't have to stop working or dating or going outside because she might catch a cold that puts her in the hospital.

Oh I know . . . stop complaining Dana! I am just jealous:) It could be worse. A lot worse.



- I could develop a life time allergy to alcohol and never ever be able to enjoy a cold beer again
- My cats could wander off and be hit by a car
- I could be totally depressed and have to be zonked out on tranquilizers
- My husband could get a job somewhere cold and miserable like Fargo (bless their souls)
- I could get my arm bitten off by a shark
- I could walk through a time warp and have to go back to middle school

Oh, I could go on and on, plenty of situations I would not trade mine for . . . especially the middle school one.