Yesterday I was pretty down. Now pretty down for me is still watching and loving the The Daily Show, going out to eat with my mom, and laughing remember how incredibly retarded my nurses were (they deserve a whole post to themselves, which will be forthcoming), but I was still down.
Why?
The path report showed the chemo did nothing to shrink the tumors. I still had very active and aggressive cancer pretty much everywhere that they thought it would be. It was obviously large and metastatic in my breast, it was in 9/13 lymph nodes (which is almost all of them), so if you extrapolate it is in a lot of lymph node in my breast that they weren't able to remove. It is in my clavicle still, and from my PET scan even though you can't feel it, it is still in my neck.
Which means that while the chemo STOPPED the growth (good), it didn't kill much cancer (bad).
I am usually a pessimistic person, in that I don't expect miracles, but I guess there was this little part of my heart hoping that it was just big dead lumps of cancer cells in me.
So back to the drawing board with me. A/C didn't work, so hopefully another chemo cocktail will.
So with that un-delightful news, here are some things to make you smile! Most are from the BookofJoe.
JUMBO JET VS. PEOPLE ON THE BEACH
FACEBOOK GROUP: WORLD LEADERS
hello gorgeous! just got my update and wanted to say hi quickly. love the new layout which i am embarrassed to say bc you probably did it a while ago. saw my t-shirt shout out! awesome! i wish i could have attended Ta Ta to your Tata :(
ReplyDeletebut good news, i will be unemployed soon, soooo i will have LOTS more time to follow, chat and hopefully even, take trips - maybe to come feed you cheese?
I am with you. Western medicine is one thing but all you need to do is to really be positive and beat it within yourself. This is not a battle against cancer or side effects from cancer.. this is simply a battle against yourself. Beat it. I got your back always.
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