Everything Hurts! Makes me want to break something!

I have luckily never been afflicted with back pain, migraines, or any of those chronic really painful problems. This is my first bout with constant pain.

I had said in my blog before I was taking shots of Nuelasta. I misspoke. They were shots of Nuepogen (vs. Nuelasta) to boost WBC production. Neupogen also causes bone pain. I mean, hard core bone pain. Since it isn't joint pain, but an actual ache coming from the depths of your bones, and the bigger the bone, the more the ache.

Lower back, femur, pelvic bones, the big bones in your back called the scapula (just learned that term for this post), and they all ache and if you get up to fast or move to quickly throb like you had a heart of pain pulsing in each one of them. And then this big wave of pain screams up your spine and sinks its claws into the back of your head causing a massive headache that won't let go and you just want to fall to the floor.

And listen, I am not a sissy. I ran cross-country for gods sake, I can take a lot of pain over extended periods of time. But this is a whole new thing. This wakes me up at night and I feel like I was involved in a serious car accident where I was hit from the side and all the airbags went off and everything just hurts. It makes me want to be mean to everyone I come in contact with so they can share in my misery and feel like shit too. Doesn't that make you want to come visit me:)?

I get the shots in the morning and the pain doesn't hit me until the evening, where I crawl up to my mom's bed and moan until she gets me a vicodin. Hot baths seem to help, so I am taking advantage, regressing to my childhood, adding bubbles, and I make my mom read to me (she is reading Fluke).

The vicodin is amazing, I take it, and 20 minutes later there is a complete cessation of pain and a slight feeling of euphoria. Since I can't drink wine, it is a great substitute. I heard it was a narcotic, and I know that House loves it, so I looked up vicodin addiction on Google.

Vicodin addiction affects the mental, emotional, physical and spiritual aspects of a person's life. In addition, vicodin addiction can tear apart families, ruin relationships and leave lives in shambles without proper vicodin rehab. Many people who are addicted to vicodin want to stop but find that they are unable to live without the drug and must enter a rehabilitation center in order to stop. By understanding the devious nature of vicodin addiction, helping yourself or someone you love is a much easier task.

All well and good, but honestly, worth the risk to stop this pain.